Thinking about what to blog about…..I had all of the usual things….crazy relative stories…goofy kiddo revelations…Super Mommy myths…and then it hit me. As i was preparing dinner, I had to move a jar of sea shells off of the oven. That jar of seashells is love in a jar. The following story proves that love can be saved, salvaged..redeemed, re-purposed and rekindled again.
Twelve years ago…..Cory was 2. Donald and I were raging against each other or ignoring each other altogether Brad was 12. He heard far too many ugly screaming fights….he saw all too many nasty discussions. For a time….a few years…Donald and I were unsure if we could make it. We thought it might be TOO HARD….we thought what we had might not have been worth working for. Even our marriage counselor said there was nothing further she could provide us in the way of therapy and suggested divorce. How do you get fired by your marriage counselor ?? We did! I know many marriages go through this exact thing. I know far too many that end in divorce….they give up…they walk out….they check out. We were there. We could have easily chosen to end that marriage. But we held on.
We recommitted ourselves to our marriage, to God and to our family. After that foundation was stable we decided to try to have another child. Had we not been strong in our renewed commitment to each other and strong desire to have another child we certainly would not have survived the storms of infertility that we faced for the next 3 years. Surgeries, ultrasounds, shots, counting eggs, 4 failed IUI’s……it seemed to not be in the cards for us.
Then in January 2007 we found out that we were pregnant. After all of the failed interventions….we had gotten pregnant….against ALL ODDS…God had blessed us with a pregnancy. We were overjoyed. We KNEW this was our sign from God ~ we KNEW. That baby was born in September. A beautiful baby boy. Healthy, blonde, big, strapping baby boy….well 7lbs 15oz is the biggest baby I have ever birthed 🙂 Caleb is the light of our lives. As our family grew so did our faith. We made a point to go to church to get involved. We made a point to make our faith a priority in our lives not just another THING we do on Sunday. As our faith grew so did our blessings. Twenty months after Caleb we welcomed Chloe Barbara into our family…trying ONE last time before the big 4-0. We got pregnant that month…..IMAGINE OUR BEWILDERMENT….after the struggles we had with Cory and Caleb.
So back to that jar of sea shells….
As we were leaving for Spring break —heading to the beach—for our annual trip down….Caleb went to his room and grabbed his jar of seashells. Seashells that he had collected the summer before. He brought them to his Daddy. Donald doesn’t get to go on the Spring Break trip due to work demands…..he is an accountant…this is his busiest time of the year. Caleb said “Daddy you can keep these with you here at home and look at them and think of us OK??!!” When we called to visit with Donald on vacation, Caleb asked him if he was looking at his seashells….Donald said “I have looked at them EVERY day”
Our marriage was saved several years ago. Our love has been repurposed and rekindled. People that do not know us do not know our past struggles. They do not know that we too could have divorced. Haggled over THINGS, haggled over our children….We did not stay together for our children…..some people do. We stayed together because we took a vow…several in fact….but this one….FOR BETTER OR WORSE…seems to say it all.
I cannot imagine….nor can Donald, Brad, Anna or Cory….imagine their lives without Caleb and Chloe….to us they are God’s promise of redemption. They are God’s promise of repurposed love ~ they are God’s promise of rekindled love.