Proverbs 14:30 “A tranquil heart is life to the body, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones.”
Wow! That is a very powerful passage. If you know anyone that fits the description then you know how devastating this type of person can be to their relationships. The type of power that they seem to wield over weaker members of their circle is unyielding. They show NO mercy and are genuinely incapable of love. Rottenness to the bones…haven’t we all heard that saying when referring to a difficult child? “That kid is rotten to the bone”…I have heard it. I have never associated this reference to an adult. Oh, I have known rotten adults…don’t get me wrong…but I did not feel it was a jealousy issue because jealousy in my mind is a childish behavior….I really felt that they were spoiled and never allowed to grow up. Handicapped by their overzealous parents to make sure they “appeared” to be successful.
But Solomon had it right all those years ago. Solomon was not writing about children. He was writing about adults. Oh how I wish I had studied Proverbs when at JBU. What anguish it would have saved me.
Which brings me to these verses from Proverbs:
” Fret not yourself because of evildoers,and be not envious of the wicked,for the evil man has no future; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.” ~
Fret not yourself because of evildoers…..OK at 43 I finally get it… I may have been a slow learner…but I get it. The burden of trying to please everyone has lifted from me. The true glory of pleasure is found in the simple things. When I take my kids to Sunday School and teach our two smaller ones….when my kids ask me to play games with them and we sit down and do that….when they ask me to “read a story mommy” for the billionth time…I know some books by heart….but that is ok…because that is where I feel true joy. When Cory says “mom i am nervous about ________________” and actually cares to hear my opinion on how to handle it….Do you know how seriously gratifying that is? I doubt it unless you have teenagers. When my husband looks me in the eye and tells me what is bothering him….not the facade of bravado that he generally shows the world…but he looks me in the eye and says ” I am sorry, this is really bothering me”. We talk it through and figure it out. That is a WIN FOR US!
Do my children drive me insane some days? YES!!!!! Do I contemplate getting a “paying job” on occasion???? YES!!!! I have been there and done that. I worked outside the home for 20 years. Not one day of it compares to an hour of the time that I am blessed to spend with my children ~ and here’s a little secret~ If I had only understood all those years ago that I was OK just as I was and that I did not have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulder in the form of a major “chip” ~ ie…that I could do it all and NO ONE could do it better and NO ONE would need to PROVIDE FOR ME…..and that I did not need help…well, then I would have had more precious time with my older children…that I will never get back.
I am blessed to report that our eldest son Brad is successful….smart….driven and married to a wonderful loving woman. Did we have a hand in the man he became? Yes obviously Donald and I did but by the grace of God he is thriving, intelligent and accomplished. He is a loving, giving husband, brother, son and friend. Sometimes when I look back on his time at home I wish that I had worked less and been there more for him…but as I have evolved as a mother I have accepted that I did what I felt I had to do at that time in my life…Hindsight is 20/20.
Sometimes you have to walk away from negativity. You have to accept your part in the drama and move forward. I have chosen to move forward. I have chosen to continue to be the best mom I can be. That does not mean that I fly off the handle and yell sometimes…I do! I am human and I hate to admit it but at 43 I am slowing down, so I try to stay active and fit ~ after all I have a 3 and 5 yr old at home that “hit the ground running” every single day.
I choose to not associate with jealous people. They can have exactly what I have if they work for it, if they set goals and WORK for it…tranquility is not a given…it is earned…it is prayed for it is accepted. My life is not perfect and we have struggles…but we also have faith in God. Do you?
One last passage that provides comfort……
“Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God ~